First Thing to Get Right as a Manager
How to create legitimacy by engaging in costly signalling and patterns of behaviour
Send Costly Signals
In game theory, costly signalling is doing something that is not beneficial to you to convey credible intention. Think of a movie character giving the gun to the other person whilst being engaged in an escalatory situation with them.
On the other hand, cheap talk is any communication characterised by being
Costless to transmit and receive,
Non-binding, and
Unverifiable.
One tell-tale sign of the Mediocre Manager (MM) is assuming culture is aspirational rather than observational1. Meaning, they say things like:
I’m being fair. Trust me.
I know how it looks like. But let me assure you…
So much care and deliberation went into this decision. You wouldn’t believe.
and expect people who are under them in hierarchy to take them on their word. Don’t.
It’s important to note that I’m not saying these people are necessarily lying. What I’m saying is rather:
Everyone has blind spots, especially regarding their own decisions and how they are perceived—it takes sustained, intentional effort to overcome this
One’s awareness of the situation on the ground organically reduces as they go up in the hierarchy (let them eat cake)
Because of their position, people around them are more likely to appease them, widening the organic information gap
If you are a manager, you have probably already seen this gap in action. After all, one prominent middle management experience is attending an exec meeting where everyone pats each others’ back and gives thumbs up all around while the same situation is seen as an absolute dumpster fire by the ICs.
You can quickly assess if someone (or yourself) are engaging in this behaviour. Only consider two set of actions: say and do. When engaging someone who has the power dynamic in their favour, minimise what they say and over-index on what they do. If there is an incompatibility, let their actions, not their words, dictate your verdict. Don’t change your opinion of them on that issue unless they change the way they act.
To avoid falling into this trap yourself, strive to engage in consistent behaviour demonstrating certain qualities over time that you want to be associated with. When you appeal to those who are under you in the hierarchy, only then you will have credibility in their eyes.
Side note on legitimacy—Do you need to be technical yourself to be successful if you manage a technical team? It depends™️
Yes, technical people do care about ‘‘having the chops’’. A lot of technical people take pride in only knowing technical things and look down on management or ‘playing the game’. Plus, you will be providing them a jail-free card every time they disagree with you—if only the manager understood technology!
No, in several dimensions. One, we observe that being a movie critic is a job in our reality. Two, and more importantly, the skill set required to be a competent manager has little to no overlap with those required to be a competent IC.
Further, on average, an IC has minimal perspective (excl. proper senior/staff level) on big picture issues, and thus may not appreciate what it takes to make the organisational machinery work. This is just a long-winded way of saying ICs may care about their manager having technical chops, but they are hilariously ill-equipped to judge what’s best for their own situation.
If you are a mid-level IC and find the last sentence hard to digest, I offer you this unsolicited advice—funny how writing your own newsletter works—assume you can choose between
a technical manager who is like you but
nyears into the future, anda people manager who is an excellent salesperson2.
Hope you enjoy the company of the technical manager, because you two will spend a lot of time venting together how the rest of the business just doesn’t get it while the salesperson manager’s team is going to the Moon 🚀
During my time as an IC, all my line managers were technical (excl. interim arrangements). Only one of them was equally capable at marketing, selling, PR, propaganda—you name it. And when it comes to things like budget, headcount, exec sponsorship etc., the difference was night and day.
Guess what, the game is going to be played whether your manager participates or not. What you achieve at the tactical level needs to be constantly aligned with the business objectives, and they need to be marketed as such at the strategic level. This is why the company is paying your manager for. It’s literally the job.
Create Legitimacy
Overly simplified, there are two types of managers:
Someone who has rank over you. The sole legitimacy of their claim is hierarchical. MMs belong here.
Someone whose lead you follow because you chose to, because of their past actions.
Leadership, like being an adult, is a state of mind. Being an adult can be reduced to taking responsibility and not delegating it when things get tough3. Leader is an adult who is biased towards action.
A teenager who raises their little sibling alone is an adult. A thirty-year old person who runs back to their parents when the consequences-of-their-actions catches up with them is not. Someone who orders you around because they can is your boss. Someone who stands tall when everyone else is cowering in fear is a leader.
Note that because both are mentalities, you can go in and out of them. They are also exhausting states to be in—for me, anyway. I need to practice being an adult and a leader; neither comes to me naturally. On that note, beware of ‘natural’ leaders who cannot articulate why what they do works. Otherwise, they are merely products of their environment who luck happened to have favoured.
Lastly, someone who talks about things, without backing them up with action, is just that—a talker. If this person is your manager, you dear reader, are in trouble. If this describes you, your team is.
Start Early
There is no better time to establish credibility than right now. Say, it is your first day at work and you are about to meet the team you will be leading. If you open with something along the lines of:
[pleasantries]…I believe in radical transparency, cognitive diversity, creating a safe work environment, supporting your personal growth, achieving alignment with the business yada yada…
You would be, and rightfully so, labelled as a talker—they probably wouldn’t say this to your face just yet, but behind you they will.
And why should they take you on your word? You incur no cost for saying these words. You could have easily said other words in an equally convincing manner; confidence stems easily from the feeling of power you get from having power. After all, at this point you are just a stranger to your team.
Instead, own this current condition. Tell them that they should not take your word for it. That you will demonstrate such behaviour, consistently, over long periods of time. And that they are highly encouraged to hold you accountable if you come up short on your promises. Until then, you are happy to be known as the new person who just says a lot of things.
Establish Patterns
Some years ago, I invited several panellists to an data event I was hosting. In line with British societal norms, alcoholic beverages were had. At some point, one of the panellists said she was leaving and she would bike some considerable distance.
Right after she left the group, several other members of the group approached me to raise concerns about her trip back—they thought maybe she shouldn’t be biking. I caught up with her as she was about to put her helmet on—thanks for coming, appreciate it, oh—are you alright to go back home by bike?
Immediate death stare, followed by a comment about patriarchy. Oh, actually the two women asked me to check up on you—
She was not feeling that answer either. At this point, I had two choices:
This is unfair; I am feeling a strong entitlement about being treated fairly, so I should double-down and reiterate what I just said
What I said clearly caused agitation; doesn’t really matter what the truth is, she won’t be receptive to what I have to say at this point anyway, I should just accept this and move on
After a probably 2-3 seconds long awkward silence that felt like a lifetime, I accepted that the battle was lost. But, there could be still hope for winning the war4. So I replied with a even less articulate version of ‘Sorry, I don’t have anything else to say other than what I just said; you are free to feel the way you are, and if we ever interact again in the future, perhaps you will change your mind about this interaction retroactively [some sort of bye]’.
What does this accomplish?
First, it grounds you in reality—you are not entitled to being understood; life is not fair. The more this happens, the weaker your emotional response becomes. Learning to control your triggers is an important skill for a better mental health.
Second, it demonstrates that there is no simple objective truth—I felt the way I was treated was unfair and she felt patronised. Both narratives hold true for their respective protagonists. Don’t get fixated on finding the Truth, but understand its spectrum. Ehem social scientists tend to be better at this than STEM folks5.
Third, you now have a tool to not be victimised by such interactions—judge and be judged by patterns of behaviour. If we had interacted again and every time there was similar friction, perhaps that would have meant there was more to this than simple miscommunication.
One thing you need to accept with the above is the potential singular nature of the initial interaction. As in, you may not get a chance to establish a pattern. In such n=1 scenarios, in the same vein as the first point (that you are entitled to nothing), you need to make peace with the fact that you are the villain in several random peoples’ stories. Think of the Wanda vs. Thanos exchange ‘You took everything from me <> I don’t even know who you are’.
If we never had interacted again and she was telling her friends about this patronising guy at the event, even though I’d protest (how?!), she would be telling the truth. Also see: when someone crossing the road is preoccupied with their phone and nearly got run over by a car they are idiots, but when it’s you it was just once and you were distracted and…
Identify Actions
Create a list of actions for each grand statement (e.g. diversity, servant leadership) you make to your team. Let’s compare two scenarios—your manager, who is mediocre, and you, who is a leader6. This way, you can see how you can manage up and down. Oh yes, you will have to manage up, loads.
Managing Up
Assume your manager is a cheap talker and one of their grand statement themes is diversity. You have never seen this person doing anything useful for the cause, ever. At some point, depending on your audacity, stand up and say:
MM: engages in cheap talk on diversity
What you should say: Yes, on that note. [point to a nearby inanimate object]7 You see this [object]? It has put in the same amount of effort into furthering diversity at this workplace as you. The only difference between the two of you is that it is an [inanimate object] and you are a senior decision-maker.
What you should say if you enjoy the benefits of being employed: Yes, on that note. I feel we talk a lot about this as a company, but TBH the tangibles are lacking. Words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm🎶 powerful, but by not backing them up with action, we risk looking like we don’t really mean it. Can we agree to do something right now? It would go a long way with the employee perception.
[object] MM: engages in same cheap talk again after dismissing your feedback
What you should say: Sorry but I’ll have to push back on this. The more we talk without taking action that is within our power, we are just lowering trust in our values and integrity. Let’s do something tangible now. Otherwise, it’s better to do nothing—I suggest we scrap the announcement about [cheap talk] and don’t mention it at all.
Managing Down
In contrast, this is one way you can play a similar scenario with your team:
You, a leader: One of my management principles is servant leadership. Yes, it’s a funny thing to say—it’s easy for me to tell you oh I’m your servant, I’m here to serve you etc. while the power asymmetry is strictly in my favour. Sounds cheap and shallow, isn’t it? Instead, I’m going to make you a deal:
Understand that I, as a manager, only bring value to the business as a function of your work outcomes and insofar I can motivate and enable you to achieve them. I freely delegate the tactical work to you, in exchange for shielding you from noise and interference from above (also known as strategy and/or skip-level manager).
Now, I want all of you to think about blockers. Who and what are they? You name things (i.e. processes, rituals) and/or people causing you grief, and I will address them and report back to you. I will have the awkward chats, negotiate compromises with my peers, and cultivate non-zero-sum thinking amongst our stakeholders. Give me a week and let’s reassess if I need to do more.
Your team: some non-committal nodding, utterings of OK, roger, noted; guarded excitement about finally having a proper manager
Then, just simply deliver on what you promised 😄 I will cover how you can go on about doing them as contained case studies in the upcoming issues.
Why are these costly signals and not just cheap talk? Because you rather not do them. It takes a lot of mental energy to challenge the status quo, demand meaningful change, hold people accountable, and have uncomfortable conversations over and over again. It would be much easier to take the path of least resistance, tell your team to suck it up, and collect your pay check. When your team observes you engaging in these actions for extended periods of time, they will be more willing to follow your lead.
Another funny thing about human enterprises: if they consist of 1+ human beings, you don’t have to worry about finding a crisis or dramatic situation, liberally defined. Three- to six-weeks into a new job will provide you with ample opportunities to showcase your servant leadership skills and start building a reputation worthy of following.
This is it for the first issue of the TeamCraft newsletter. In the interest of transparency, in this infancy period, it’s crucial to establish a self-sufficient audience base (as measured by attention and engagement). If you like to see more content like this, do share widely, post on social media, and forward it to friends, colleagues, and the MMs in your life.
Someone on my LinkedIn feed liked this, which was IIRC a verbatim quote from someone else. I don’t know you (can’t find it again) but I give you the credit you deserve in my heart, you quotable person.
There are, of course, technical managers who are great salespeople—Hi! 👋—but it’s a rare combination. And yes, I have no shame.
As if millions of social scientists suddenly cried out in terror at my definition and were suddenly silenced.
The War for Truth. I don’t like military metaphors but I like Clausewitz. The previous two sentences are not logically connected.
In contrast, STEM folks are better at catching strays.
Look, writing a newsletter is a form of escapism, OK?!
☎️ YOU ARE AN INANIMATE OBJECT ☎️ Sorry, I didn’t mean to call you that. I was upset.